Friday, March 29, 2013

FIFO vs Single Parents

I have so many friends in different situations.
And every single mother I know, I respect. Please note I am writing this from that Dangerous place, IME! In My Experience. I mean no disrespect to families that aren't hubby-wife-kids, this is just MY experience.

Girls, it's time to stop with the comparisons.

A Fly In Fly Out mother will never understand a single mother.

And single mother can't understand a FIFO mum's life unless she has lived it.

There's the mum with the hubby/partner who just are not interested in family.

And then... the perfect family, the one we all secretly envy, or perhaps not even so secretly. Hubby who is home, present and up to the challenge of equality in life space.

I have been both. I was the one who prepared for alone time for long periods and relied heavily on friends to help me cope... especially so in a foreign country with no family. You know what? Almost no one helped. Even when I practically begged and couldn't walk, heavily pregnant with baby#2 in a 3 storey house. It just didn't happen, except for those precious few who were genuine friends.

The first time hubby went away for an extended period, it rained FOR A MONTH STRAIGHT, no joke. It sucked. It hurt. I was lonely and exhausted.

You know though, both suck.
Both are exhausting.

Ok so FIFO mums aren't technically single, but they can feel like it. Even if they don't understand what true single parent hell is like, they still are having a crappy time. Let's not add to it by taking offence to single-parentesque comparisons. Ok?