The bloody Santa Myth.

I AM FURIOUS
Seeing red kind of furious, unable to console my son who hysterical at the thought of a strange man magically coming into our house while he sleeps, despite locked doors.

Kids at my son's class have all been asking the big "Is Santa real?" question.
Much to my dismay, these little people, developing their independent thought, are being lied to by their parents, continually insisting that Santa is real. When real, well thought out questions are asked, the kids are told if they don't believe in Santa, then they won't get presents. "If you believe in Santa, then Santa is real" What the hell are we setting our kids up for in life?

I have never lied to my kids about this. I've been 100% truthful but always asked them to play along if children in their social circles believe in Santa as I really don't want them to incur the wrath of parents who enjoy lying to their kids; however the overwhelming force of other people lying to their own children makes it impossible for my son to be peaceful and calm tonight.

I'm fine with playing a game but when you insist to your prep-aged child that Santa is real, despite their own misgivings, which they then force upon other children in fear of not getting presents on Christmas morning, I wonder if you think about the damage you're doing, not only to your own relationship with you kids when they find out you've been lying to them, but to their sense of self and knowing their own mind. When they ask you flat out "Mummy, this does not makes sense, is it real?"
I really don't mind playing along with the Santa Myth, but once that question is asked, it's game over.


My eldest meanwhile, had fun setting cookies and carrots out for Santa and his reindeer, know it is make-believe and the truth behind the mythology. Not once has she ruined the lie for other kids, and is having a great time. Happy medium.

/end Rant

Dear Diary

It's coming up to that time of year, that time where I get to be just me for a few short days.

This time last year I was in Brisbane sharing dinner with a long term friend that I had just met in person for the first time. Seeing myself through their eyes has been one for the most significant points in my life. They have also become one of the few, if not only inner-circle relationship where the love was always unconditional, and judgement of my past and intention for future was non-existent.

I can never thank them enough for the past twelve months. I don't think they'll ever know the significance of our relationship and the depth of their influence in my life.
 

I really screwed up, not intentionally, but through old bad habits, too private to name here. So, we don't talk at the moment. I hope that will change with time doing it's healing thing. But my feelings about their value as a person and a friend are the same.
  

I can't tell you this Hon, so I'll tell the internet instead.
For just the love and acceptance you gave, but not excluding: your terrible Dad jokes, reddit addiction, bad taste in hair cuts and devotion to rockmelon, I will always love you my friend, for who you are. I miss you every single day. Stay Classy.

N.

I hate this time of year.

Sorry, but I do.
Why, at Christmas, does my family, immediate or extended think they can dictate my time? Why can I not want my kids to myself for a week before I don't see them for a fortnight, when they're not exhausted from a full school week...
Why, just because it's Christmas, am I selfish for not wanting to rush. For not wanting to watch happy families happen around us and feel bad for us because we are different?

Is it like grief? Where we expect the bereaved to feel better with gift baskets and flowers... A friend who lost her son was exhaustedly taken aback when a circle of her friends insisted she came out to lunch so they could 'treat' her and give her the knick knacks they had bought for her.

Do people think I'll top myself if I spend a Christmas on my own terms? Poor single person. Can't be left alone, let's put then in the middle of lots of families so they feel less alone.

Ok I've reached rant point.

I need a holiday, alone. Anyone want to come? ;)